Frame of Mind

I have this terrible (but probably relatable) tendency to postpone the things that are way overdue. Once I’m ‘not on schedule’ anymore, things just sit there. This may sound very trivial when it comes to things like updating a website, but my website means more to me than just a project. It’s a quiet place on the internet for me. I like working on it because there is no direct interaction, like there is when you change things on your Facebook or Instagram account. It’s nice and stable and I like that. So when I’m ignoring it, it doesn’t feel right.

I have a lot ‘to do’ lately. Stuff that I should be grateful for, opportunities given by kind people. Anxiety however, doesn’t discriminate. No matter how fun, exciting or lucrative a project is, there is always that damn anxiety. Small enough at first, when you think ‘just breathe, it’ll be fine’. Then a little bigger and then it knocks you on your ass. Someone once said to me, the progress is in how fast you get up again. I find that a rather depressing thought, but it is so at the moment.

So while I’m updating ‘old’ work, I figured why not skip and start with the new stuff. There’s no law that say you need to work your way through the past first right? This is titled ‘Frame of Mind’ and I finished it today, right before the feeling that it wasn’t good enough took over. Then I quickly took it off the board it was on and archived it for our upcoming auction.