I’m tired and it’s affecting my art routine

As much as I try to stay away from posting too much negativity on my blog or social media channels, I can’t really go any other way right now. I know that many of you are shocked, angry, sad, all of the above, by the shit that is the world right now. Some of us make art through it all, and some of us don’t.

I gave myself loads of breaks; during the disastrous Dutch elections, the war in Palestine, the rise of far-right in Europe, all of it. But at this point I feel like the world is running my life. It’s with me when I wake up, when I move through the day and when I go to bed and can’t sleep.

In the mean time, I’m barely touching my paint. “What’s the point?”, I keep thinking.

Yesterday morning I woke up with the thought, “if I don’t look for the point, how do I know for sure there isn’t one?”. I’ve made myself face things through art before. Things I really didn’t want to face. And I want to see if I can find the Point in all of this. The face of hollow despair. Hope or hopelessness. I don’t really care which one I find, I just want to find it.

I had a hard time recording this video because I’m never really sure if I should post things that aren’t at least adding a bit of positivity to these times. But I’m out of energy really, to prop myself up and pretend. So if you’re not in the mood for the blues, there are other things you can listen to.

I’m going to be painting every day for an undetermined period of time, until I either find the drive to continue art or the courage to quit it.

If you want to rant, vent, scream, cry or sing a song comments you are more than welcome to leave one. I love you and thanks for being here.