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I’m tired and it’s affecting my art routine
As much as I try to stay away from posting too much negativity on my blog or social media channels, I can’t really go any other way right now. I know that many of you are shocked, angry, sad, all of the above, by the shit that is the world right now. Some of us make art through it all, and some of us don’t.
I gave myself loads of breaks; during the disastrous Dutch elections, the war in Palestine, the rise of far-right in Europe, all of it. But at this point I feel like the world is running my life. It’s with me when I wake up, when I move through the day and when I go to bed and can’t sleep.
In the mean time, I’m barely touching my paint. “What’s the point?”, I keep thinking.
Yesterday morning I woke up with the thought, “if I don’t look for the point, how do I know for sure there isn’t one?”. I’ve made myself face things through art before. Things I really didn’t want to face. And I want to see if I can find the Point in all of this. The face of hollow despair. Hope or hopelessness. I don’t really care which one I find, I just want to find it.
I had a hard time recording this video because I’m never really sure if I should post things that aren’t at least adding a bit of positivity to these times. But I’m out of energy really, to prop myself up and pretend. So if you’re not in the mood for the blues, there are other things you can listen to.
I’m going to be painting every day for an undetermined period of time, until I either find the drive to continue art or the courage to quit it.
If you want to rant, vent, scream, cry or sing a song comments you are more than welcome to leave one. I love you and thanks for being here.
Comments
3 responses to “I’m tired and it’s affecting my art routine”
Beautifully worded and speaks to my own depression so well. Thank you
Hi Sabra, it’s an incredibly hard time right now for all of us. The election here in the US last week was a gut punch. I don’t understand any of it, but, yes , I will join you and paint every day and try to figure out what the fucking point is.
I adore your work. I found you through Let’s Face It and I came to your website and signed up for your newsletter. I am older than you are (56) and have a few more years of life lived than you. I am in the United States and I felt like you do now, back in 2020, after the election. I am not ‘far right’ as you have stated that has risen up in your country but I am an Independent. I voted according to the things that are important to me which are a strong secure border, a strong economy, less regulations, oil independence, & reducing the size of government. I know that all of those things won’t get done due to the limitations of the job but it is our right to vote. It doesn’t always turn out the way that we want it to. Believe me, I know. But all you can do is know that things are always changing in the world and we have to remember that we are just a tiny part of all of it. (I am only speaking about my country as I do not know the ways politics work in your country). I would suggest not watching any news. I quit that about 8 plus years ago and just did a lot of researching on my own to know what was true and what was not. Don’t take the weight of the world’s problems onto your shoulders. It’s just too much to carry. I have learned we can’t fix all the problems. They have been here long before you and me. Each person has their beliefs and opinions. That is OK. Everyone doesn’t have to agree on everything. We are all just human beings at the end of the day. It’s also ok to have a down moment and talk about it. I do hope you painting will help you come to a brighter place. Do whatever you need to do to make your mind rest. XO.
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